It's Sunday morning. Listening to Ken Ham preach at Calvary Fort Lauderdale on the Internet. Ready for church. Hoping I can stay awake.
I got to bed much later than I usually do, then I was awake a lot. Each time I woke up the same song was going through my brain. I couldn't believe it! Even when I got up this morning no matter what I am doing that song keeps pounding its way through every thought.
The song?
"Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons. I don't get it.
I like the song. I love the group. Amazing instrumentals. Superb musicianship. But why that song?
I do have the disc playing in the van. But when I came in last night that isn't the song that was playing.
This is the part going through my head:
"Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart/weep little lion man,/ you're not as brave as you were at the start/rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left/wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head"
Just what is that supposed to mean? Why this lyric? Why this morning?
How in the world am I supposed to stay awake in church AND listen to this song in my head AND pay attention?
The chorus admits fault and adds the "speaker" really f***ed it up this time. Uh huh.
Makes me wonder.
I know God uses anything and everything at His disposal (which is, well...everything and anything) to get our attention. To make Himself known in whatever state we are in.
I don't know where I am heading these days. Big change is coming. Okay. It has come before and I welcomed it gladly. Not so sure this time, but it will be fine.
I don't have a desire to continue doing what I do for the rest of my life. Yet I am afraid to move in the direction I really want go in. Fear and insecurity rage that people will reject what I do. What I should care about is if I am pleased, but more importantly that God is pleased with what I do.
The real change that is coming is not just my job. Guess I better get ready.
