what to write?

So, I spent the past two days in Cheyenne at a literacy conference at the community college. Friday was a learning experience complete with writing exercises. Saturday I met three ladies who are good contacts. Two are interested in being in a writer's group and the other is a adjunct prof there with good connections in town. Very nice.
While listening to the authors give readings was enjoyable - hearing what they wrote with their inflections makes it sound more believable than merely reading the words yourself - I have to say it made me feel they were a tad full of themselves. Probably not so, well with two of them. But there were extenuating circumstances for the other one. She was coming off a recent loss and so in the moments she was not at the podium she was a bit aloof. I will cut her some slack.
Through this experience and one via email where I inquired as to how to contact a writer, I have learned a few things about writing.
First, I am not sure what I write will be readable by just anyone. Some stuff is just better off not shared.
Second, if I am not willing to hurt people or at least apologize before something goes to publication there is no point in my trying to be published.
Third, it is possible to write and then revise to hide what could hurt someone. But am I willing to do that? Part of me - the evil, bitter part wants to just toss all the dirty laundry out there and let someone else deal with it. Let the dung hit the oscillating motor. Some people deserve it. That is not how I want to live though.
Fourth, if by some wonderful happenstance I get a book finished, polished, apologized over, in print and in front of readers I feel strongly that though I will need to protect my privacy, I must also allow readers into my world. If someone writes me, I feel I should in some way acknowledge it. I know authors get so well-known and well-liked that they can't possibly respond to everyone, but when you get that good, you can hire someone to help with that. And they can forward on to you those letters, notes, whatever that seems in need of a more personal response. That means whoever is the gatekeeper will have to share my heart. That is a lot of trust.
Fifth, if I am ever in a situation where people buy my book and want an autograph I will thank them sincerely. I may even, on the chance I am having a not so good day, admit it so they don't think I am a snob in a snit. Readers are important people. Without them beyond the experience of having written a book, there is no value in having done so. Dust-catcher hardly seems worthy of the many hours spent constructing sentences.
I am getting ready for National Novel Writing Month. I will admit to cheating a little. I am keeping my hours over this month. The actual month is November but I will have company that month and don't think it is very nice to abandon them in my off work hours to write. I might do some but not what I should to get me word count in. So I will log my hours and try to get it done in 30 days this month and then submit it in November. Maybe write until they come and then finish the last week of November after they have gone. Good plan. Glad I thought of it just now.
See what writing things down will do for you?
The next trick is to write. If I don't let you read it don't be surprised or upset. there is probably a reason. Maybe as simple as I don't want to share. Maybe as complex as you just don't need to know that.
I have 4,700 words today. whew

Upset? Pray.

So, I have managed to get from January to now without a single negative comment about my work. This does not mean there has been no constructive criticism and I do have one pretty solid detractor that will have to be dealt with soon.
Those don't really count. Telling me something that will improve my writing and job performance is welcome. Someone out to get me without knowing me is inexcusable and needs to be stopped. Praying about that one.
At any rate, a story I wrote hit this guy's radar. He does not know how stories are categorized and therefore took exception to my not telling two sides of the story.
Let's be clear. Freedom of the press is for the people who own and write to do what needs done by their own standards, not everyone else's.
Does that mean I think it is right to be biased in an article? Not at all.
Feature writing, like story-telling, covers one side of the story. Tells of events that are happening. Shines a spotlight on one thing.
News coverage should tell both sides, all sides, as many sides as possible. It should tell only what happened. Anything else added is another article.
Easy way to differentiate them - call news an article and all else falls easily into stories and columns.
To say I am upset about one biased man assuming I told a STORY in a biased fashion is a gross understatement. I don't know how to answer him, other than to stay silent and let the story speak for itself. I could attempt to answer him, in a sense get into a pissing contest with him. But what would be the point? I doubt he would concede my point. I certainly will not concede his.
So other than here, I will stay silent. Let my editor deal with it. (Man is it nice to say that!! Sorry, Ben!)
I will continue to write unbiased articles and interesting stories and columns. And I will pray for the people in this town who are being torn and, in my opinion, forced to chose sides.
One other point. People who come in to disturb, to stir things up in the name of Christianity should be sure they are on the right side. I am not sure we are called to cause problems, but to tell the truth, be gentle and harmless as doves; to move people out from under the law and into the solid, welcoming arms of grace.
Pastors who do not preach grace in action and in the pulpit need to examine their motives. Pastors who weep with the understanding that they, too, are being taught through their sermons should be listened to, their sincerity examined and emulated.
I give my upset spirit to God and pray for us all to see and hear Him clearly.

Brownies, sweet brownies

I have decided I don't like ads.
One that is really bothering me today - partly because I've seen it too often and partly because it is stupid - is the Burger King commercial that pretends to be an America You've Got Talent show. You could say I should just turn off the TV, but I should be able to watch what I want without being assaulted by bad ads.
Then there is the Pizza Hut pasta ad. Pretend news report. Dumb.
Another one that is bugging me today is the one for the new brownie pan. Have you seen it? Brownie magic or something like that. It is a pan that has dividers so you end up baking a pan of individual brownies.
Now ordinarily that would thrill me. I would want that pan, and the brownies in it. That would be the problem.
I am eating pretty healthy right now. Trying to fit in an airplane seat better. So no sugar. Few carbs.
Enter the brownie pan ad that shows people making pan after pan of brownies with all kinds of stuff on top. Hot fudge sundaes with brownies from the pan, iced, decorated. It really is tempting.
Why can't we have brownies that taste like brownies should, but have no carbs, no calories, no sugar?
Guess that is too much to ask. At any rate today it is irritating. Probably sugar deprivation.

Beating the odds

I beat the odds today.
I made a list of stuff I needed to do, with only one being negotiable. As of this moment I have crossed off all but the negotiable one.
I did laundry, dishes, finished arranging the living room, and wrote for two hours. Got in over 3,000 words. I also wrote down all I have eaten, drank a boatload of water (trying to sink the boat, ha, ha) and wrote my early morning three pages.
That morning stuff is hard. It is three pages, handwritten of whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it takes no time at all, others I just write the same word over and over again. When I die they will find the dumb thing and wonder where my brain was!
I have already made a list of stuff to do tomorrow, adding two new things, actually three if you count going for a walk and that does count, to what I usually do on a Sunday.
I am going to try to go the Defenders of the Wall prayer group before the morning service starts. I think it will be good.
I have a pretty decent week planned if I beat the odds and stick with the plan. I will be interviewing the woman responsible for the Women of Worship in Cheyenne. Linda Dillow will be the keynote speaker and Shannon Wexelburg will be leading worship. Love them both so I am looking forward to covering the conference.
Part of beating the odds for me right now is in goal-setting and goal-tending. I have a few set - get the house in order before I leave for Ohio, lose enough weight before the trip so I am not so uncomfortable in the seat and can fasten the seat belt (wow, brave throwing that up on a blog), write in the morning journal each morning, keep my food journal, walk 30 minutes every day, write two hours every day, read my Bible every day.
Tending those goals will be hard for me. I was good at it when I first moved to Wyoming, then got very free with my tainted version of freedom - you know, I can do what I want when I want and no one can stop me. That is so wrong! Freedom includes responsibility to not overeat, over indulge in television, move about the planet for exercise. They say freedom comes at a price, usually a high one. My warped version cost me the use of my body, my lungs, my knees, my attitude, my mental health.
So, on this path I must now put up road blocks, whereby I can beat the odds. I need to get healthy in all manner of ways and show that old free will who's the boss!
I just thought of a good verse that goes well with this 1 John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world." Certainly God is greater in me than satan is in my world. God wants me healthy and productive, satan wants me dead and that is certainly not productive.
What say? You willing to try beating the odds in your life? What struggles are you dealing with? Set your goals and start tending them. God is on your side and He is greater than anything that stands in our way!

Just thinkin'

Not much going on today. Allergies are making me miserable, but the fall-like temps are a wonderful comfort.
Heard from a semi-family member who credited my prayers with her spouse getting a job. Not sure it was my prayers, but God is certainly looking out for them. And I need to make a concerted effort to do better on contact and prayers for them.
She is hanging out there alone. I know how that feels, so I should be empathizing with her and doing what I can, even if it is on a small scale, to make things better for her.
Didn't spill anything in the kitchen today. Small miracle.
Was awakened at 12:03 a.m. by a buzzing sound. Sounded like an alarm. I live a block away from two banks so my immediate not-really-awake thought was that someone had tried to get into one of them and they have a weird-sounding alarm.
Figured since I was awake I might as well take advantage so I traversed the semi-darkness to the bathroom and discovered the buzz was coming from my desk. Hmmm.
Turns out when I moved some books I pushed the clock over and it turned on the alarm.
How like God to teach me something in the middle of the night!
How often do we hear an alarm, either literally or figuratively, and KNOW we should respond and don't? If you are doing something wrong, you get that heart-pounding alert that tells you 'just say no." Or you just did something and immediately your body gives you feedback in the form of guilt indicating you done wrong.
Most of the time, if not really all the time (if we would only stop lying to ourselves), we know before we act or speak that what we are doing or saying is right or wrong, hurtful or edifying.
And sometimes, for some of us a lot, we do it anyway. We figure we can always ask forgiveness later. But sometimes forgiveness does not come. What we have done very may well have been the last straw for the person we wronged. They may forgive, but they choose to remove us as a person who can hurt them anymore.
I don't want to be like that. It is time to listen to the alarm.